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The other day, while listening to my wife and son playing, I started to doze off a little. It was during this quasi slumber that one of those weird vision/dream thingys came to me. I quickly recognized it as the perfect metaphor for life with a two year old.
Here it is-
You are on a spaceship. Something like the USS Enterprise when you approach an alien planet whose inhabitants you have never encountered. With caution, you beam down to the surface, put your phasers on “stun” (after all, your goal is to explore and protect, right?) and look for life.
It’s not long before a life form stumbles into your path. You all just stand there frightened. Neither of you move while both members of the exploration team sizes up this new creature.
A little time goes by and you start to enjoy the creatures company. You even retire from the Federation, buy a place on it’s planet, and let it stay with you. You and your teammate agree that you are both better humans for having even known it and life is peachy. Then, say two years down the road, something starts to trouble you. It’s a feeling. You know it’s there but you don’t exactly know what it is. It just kind of nags at you. Both of you feel it but neither of you discuss it. It could be danger but you don’t know for sure so you ignore it. Six months or more pass without any major incident and you, still very aware of the feeling, have learned to live a normal life.
One day, while watching the alien and your human friend interact, something becomes instantly clear. It hits you like a warp core explosion and the fear that had been in the back of your mind for years finally exposes itself. You realize that this cute, lovable, mucus producing, booger eating, strange language talking entity that has dominated your life is, indeed, a lot smarter than you thought. In fact, it’s way smarter than you are or ever will be. It adapts quicker than you can and it’s powers of observation, manipulation, and physical and mental stamina are unbelievable. In that very second, it occurs to you that you are inferior in almost every aspect and you realize that your only focus for the next sixteen or so years can only be to stay one step ahead of this thing. You don’t know if you can but you have to try. This little monster has snuck up on you and hijacked your life. Much like a cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey, you didn’t even see it coming. But it’s there and it’s not going away.
